life’s a beach

Okay, first off- I hate using clichés like that, but it just fits so well. I’m back in Ohio after spending a glorious week on the beach, being warm and getting sunburned, and it’s cold. We all know that I hate being cold, as evident in my last post.

We road tripped it to Myrtle Beach and with stops it took a total of 12 hours. Ugh. The drive was fun, though! We jammed out to playlists that we had made on Spotify and stopped to eat in random places, which was fun. I got accosted by a man for pronouncing his town’s name wrong. Wytheville. I’m sorry, but it looks like it would be pronounced “Why-thvil“, but I guess it’s “with-vil“. My bad. Sorry any Wytheville, VA citizens reading this. Also, sorry about your 2009 hostage crisis, but it was fun being there. You have a good Subway.

Alright, so we got to our condo, which we rented on Vacation Rental By Owner from a lovely woman named Julia who is now my best friend, and we unpacked and went grocery shopping. We were going to check things out that night but we were exhausted and opted out of that to get some sleep instead. The next day was beautiful and sunny and so, of course we went to the beach. IT. WAS. GORGEOUS.


We had decided beforehand that we would go out to eat one night towards the end of the week, so on Thursday we went to Dicks Last Resort and it was hilarious. Dicks is a restaurant where the servers get to, well, treat you like dicks. They were rude and sarcastic and it was amazing. We made friends with our server and found out that he was an Airforce brat who travelled constantly. It was really cool. He made us hats shaped like condoms with rude things written on them. Mine said “been on more wieners than Heinz ketchup“, and when I got leftovers he put them in a box that said “big black dildo” on it, so there you go. It was an interesting experience and I had loads of fun. When we left, there was a swan sitting in front of our car so, of course, I was super excited and had to take a picture with it. I don’t think you understand, guys. It was a great time. Swans are dicks, I’m a dick and we were outside of Dicks, so it just fit. It also helps that my last name is Swan and I feel a kinship towards the animal. Earlier that day, we had gone to the boardwalk and walked around, poking in shops and buying cheap clothing. We also went on the Sky Wheel, which is the second tallest Ferris wheel in North America, next to the Texas Star in Dallas.


It was a blast, but I got home and it just felt so nice to be back. It’s nice to use my own shower and sleep in my own bed and just to have my things around me! Vacations are always needed, but being home isn’t bad either!



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